Parallel Universes

"Mum, can I read you a story?"  asks the sweet voice of Pearl, age 4, the first time she’s asked me this.

Me:  "Yes please, I'd love that!"

Pearl begins to tell me a story and Inca 7 speaks at the same time, in a voice louder than Pearl’s, telling her version of the story.

Pearl shows frustration, "Stop it!"

Me, sensing the tension and knowing things could easily escalate to a place none of us really want to be, I turn to Inca,

"Do you want me to know that you already know how to read this story?" (I’m internally guessing she may have needs for acknowledgement, to matter and to be seen)

Inca: "Yes", as I notice her bottom lip sticking out slightly.

Me: "Does it help you to know that I know you can read this book?  I remember you reading it to me before and I loved it."

Inca: "Yes", eyes looking up, as she appears brighter in her being, lips noticeably softened.

Me: "Want to snuggle with me while Pearl reads it and then you read it to me after, or even choose another one?"

She nods and snuggles in.

.........................................................................................................................................................................................................

Meanwhile, a parallel universe plays out….

"It's Pearls turn first, cos she asked me first and then you can read it to me, OK?"

My response after Pearl's, "Stop it!"

In this world, where I'm the Let's-Be-Fair, Take-Turns, I'm-In-Charge, Fixer-Upper, Straight-Into-Solutions Mum, I'm never surprised that there's often resistance to my instructions.

Or, if there IS compliance, you can almost guarantee an increased level of tension, a bigger conflict, rising resistance, erupting emotions are just round the corner, because precious, sacred, beautiful underlying needs haven't been addressed.

When our needs are acknowledged, we have confirmation that they matter - which we translate to believing that WE matter.  Senses of belonging, trust & connection arise, and our nervous systems are regulated.  We are more able and open to experience whatever comes next in a self-connected way.

When I speak in this mode, the one of fixing & fairness, there's usually something scratchy in the way it feels in my body.  It's very surface level and there's some quality of forcing myself, or of suppressing my truer self, to get the words out, that never ever feels freeing and enlivening.

 -

In the scene belonging in the first universe I shared about, where I'm deepening into more layers of my humanness, one where I'm genuinely curious about the others' experience and am willing to tend to the life I find there (though, I find it important to note, it doesn't always start off with genuineness, but almost always gets there), something happens in my own cells, my own being, that just soothes and touches my soul.  I'm energised, revitalised, nourished.  Like we've all been re-set, back to zero, freed to ride the wave of infinity, purest of heart intentions splayed out for all to touch.

Deliciously open to the next beat.